Being a first time Young Mom
I remember when we found out we were pregnant just two months after being married. Boy, was this a shock! We had initially talked about waiting a year and really investing in our marriage before having kid. But I suppose God had different plans.
Shortly after finding out this wonderful, yet surprising news, I decided to take on this pregnancy the only way I knew how. Head on! If you know me at all, you know I’m a planner. So I took the time to plan out my entire pregnancy. I made a list of all the books to read and all the food to eat. I researched everything from the best ways to exercise to the best breast pumps. In my mind, to be the best parent, I had to know everything about pregnancy and my body.
When that little girl came after 3 hours of pushing it changed my life forever! I remember being in the hospital that night and thinking “Holy shit, this is real. How am I going to do this?” There are so many standards you have to keep up with. Breastfeeding until they bite you, sleep training, but not letting them sleep in their own room. The list goes on and on. As it turns out, the books and research weren’t all that important after all. I still felt unsure and a little overwhelmed.
I realized quickly that raising babies is a lot like pregnancy. Everyone does it differently. No two babies are the same and no two mama’s are the same. For instance, I struggled with breastfeeding for three months! Miss B didn’t latch well which made feedings take hours, and I mean like, 2-3 hours at a time! Sometimes those were 2-3 hours spent crying in pain. But I kept it up because of mom guilt and wanting to give my baby “the best.” I wanted to be able to give my daughter what other mom’s give there’s. But in reality, what was best for my baby was me being sane as a first time mother! I had to put it all into perspective and remind myself that it wasn’t like Blakely was going to miss out on Harvard just because I couldn’t breast feed her for longer than three months.
To all the other moms out there that are just trying to stay sane and survive this wild ride called motherhood, I hope you too can realize that mom guilt may be real, but it doesn’t need to have control over how you parent. At the end of the day, you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about! If you’re doing the best you can and loving that sweet baby with all you have, you’re golden. The rest will simply fall into place.