Parenting and being on the same team
We are on the same team
Surprisingly, I have been asked by some friends if having Blakely so early in our marriage has made it more difficult for us. But I can honestly say, it hasn’t. If anything, it has made us stronger. We feel that it has only made us stronger because we had to learn how to be on the same team rather quickly.
We decided when we were dating to view marriage as team and to use that metaphor often. There is no room for competition between parents when you’re on the same team. That means, just because you changed the last poopy diaper, doesn’t mean it’s your husbands turn. Keeping score of things like that does nothing for a marriage.
As a stay at home mom, my job isn’t over when my husband comes home. Sure, I’ll take a few minutes to myself or cook dinner for the family; after he gets home, but that’s also time my husband gets with our daughter alone. He enjoys those bonding moments. We obviously aren’t saying that we’re perfect or have it all figured out. We argue about who is changing the poopy diaper every now and again just like everyone else!
However, we have discovered as young, new parents that if we make the daily choice to do this life/marriage/parenting game together, as a team, it all seems to flow a lot smoother. If one parent needs help then lend a hand. You would do the same thing with a teammate on the field or court, so why wouldn’t you practice that disciple inside your own home? When arguments do pop up, as they do for everyone, we have found that a conclusion is reached much faster if we remind ourselves that we are on the same team.
In the end, we want to achieve the same goals. We both want a healthy and thriving marriage as well as a healthy and thriving daughter. We have found, in our own lives, that when we approach a difficult topic from the same standpoint, we come to an agreement with far less battle wounds and even end up growing stronger because of it.
No one ever said parenting or marriage was easy, but the good things in life never are.